2020: A Look Back

I have looked at my Instagram and Facebook posts this year, and I must say it is very fascinating to look back.I also have read my planner and all the thingsI have written down gave me a chance to do a better self-inventory of many things.

This year started strong with all my travel plans sorted out. One of the big trips planned is to go home to the Philippines again to visit family. I have US cities that I wanted to see. I managed to do one of them because not only I was a sunset chaser, I was an aurora borealis chaser, too.I was able to go to Fairbanks, Alaska, and wow, what a beauty. I know it was cold, but I love winter. I had my fun in Las Vegas. Plus, I got to see Skye and Baby Joyce. I have enjoyed those trips.I was creating memories for myself. Until the pandemic hits and somehow I am generating a different kind of memory. Something that will be stamped in my lifetime.

So, the pandemic hits and I got my COVID-19 scare because this trendsetter was in Las Vegas a week before the lockdown. I dealt with my anxiety and fear in terms of this deadly virus and also the trepidations at work.Ideal with unhappiness in the workplace and no it is not COVID-19 related. I feel that it was a lot to take, but I continued to show up.I have done my fair share of snapping to people and losing it as well. It is a learning process, and I have learned the power of control and curiosity.

Who is ready for 2021?

I was dealing, again, with my hormones this year, and yes I was hormotional. I still stand by what Samantha Jones has said, "I am not transitioning, I am happening."I will always remember that receptionist at the laboratory where I needed to show a post-it note which says, "I am a transgirl,"I wonder if my frame of mind was different at that time.I will always wonder. I know that next year. I want to be instrumental in many changes in terms of how transgender care goes.

But even though I have weak moments I also have my Mulan "Loyal, Brave and True" moments.

I was courageous enough to continue doing my blog post this year and have seen people's engagement with the articlesI am posting. These articles lead to a speaking gig for the University of Fraser Valley's Pride Culture Conference. This year, my creativity was more active that I managed to launch a podcast. In which I am aspiring to engage more people to it. I went from my usual brown hair colour to a blonde. Even tried purple in it.My fashion sense is more ignited this year with all these inspirations from watching youtube videos.

I did lots of hikes and thank you to my friends who have been there to encourage me. I got back my strength to conquer mountains and the mosquitoes.I went back to gardening this year. Such therapy.

I have met new friends and deepen current friendships. The connection is super important this year especially with all the gathering restrictions, I needed these people where I can continue to share my frustrations and feelings.

I have missed my family. I was supposed to be returning home this year for my brother's 30th birthday. It did not happen due to all the travel restrictions. I maintained my connection with them and thank God for zoom, Facetime, and Facebook video chat.

We have honoured our healthcare heroes and essential workers. A very crucial year for all of us in the healthcare field and I salute everyone for all the kindness, patience and determination everyone has shown. We have lost some healthcare workers, but we will continue the fight for better care for our patients. As well, the rights of every worker.

My travel nursing itch came back and I was able to do a travel nursing stint in Northern BC and one of the highlights of my year.I am so very thankful for the new friendship I found there and also the experience. Also, very grateful for the beauty that Alaska Highway has revealed me. What an experience!

I learned to be more grateful and by starting a gratitude journal I have learned that I have lots to be grateful for. So with this look back of 2020, despite what the pandemic has brought to our lives. There are things that we should be grateful for. Although some people are hurting right now with the loss of loved ones, their jobs, their houses, and others. I hope that somewhere in there, gratitude exists.

This year, this has been my quotation. From the song, "You Gotta be" by Des'ree

You gotta be

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold

You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard

You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm

You gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day.

I want to be part of the change for 2021, and I also wanted to maintain the connection I have with all the people dear to my heart. The most significant thing is that there are many things that I am grateful for. I hope that the next year brings us all together.I am looking forward to so many things next year, and I know it will be a gradual process.I will be patient.