A note from 9 months ago

You have probably browsed on your planner or your gratitude journal about a certain note addressed to yourself. What did you find out?

I attended a leadership course last fall and it was the Power of One. It talked about different topics such as curiosity, resilience, optimism and others. These topics were connected to leadership. It was a fantastic course and this is where I showed up where everything was Vegas. The things we have discussed there were all confidential and helped me in building more confidence with how I lead people. The courses were truly beneficial as it tackles how you deal with a challenging co-worker or family member. We all know we have had all those experiences, and I am not only talking professionally but also personally. The tools that were imparted to us, I still use in my workplace.

Speaking of my workplace, I received a mail from the instructors of the course. We were asked to write a note to one's self about the things that you wanted to see in yourself after finishing the course. It was more of a general statement, you can relate it to your work or your life. I was not sure what I have written. So, I was aware that the note will be sent to us after three months and yet here we are nine months later, I finally received it. I was nervous about opening it because I know I was not sure if I have seen changes within me in the last nine months. I was adamant opening the letter and I thought it will be a long list of things but it was not. So you want to know what I wrote? It was in a 3 × 5 index card and I have written five things in the front, it says:

Please try the following:

-Do not be judgmental.

-Do not get angry easily.

-Be curious. Be open.

-Love yourself more.

-Know that others are not you!

The back portion I wrote the following:

Stay fabulous and lively!

What were your notes for yourself in the last year?

Let me divide and conquer here. Those five things were a lot to digest. I know I have a problem and let me just say that I tend to snap when I get frustrated. So all those five things were interrelated. Getting angry is one of the things that I was working on even before the course. It has been better, I must say. I feel like that I have been a more curious individual. I still had my moments where I was judgy, and I was not going into my curious route. I would expect people to be just doing what I expect them to do not realizing that again like number five, they are not me. People have different personalities and when it comes to working, your deadline is not their deadline. All you can do is provide an expected completion date and do a follow up with it. You can give a little of leeway when it is not super urgent but there are times when you need to put out the whip.

Putting out the whip is so different from being bossy. I hope that people realize that. There are a time and a place to be kinder and more considerate but also to be a fearless leader who gets the job done efficiently. We cannot get caught up with our job, let us admit that. Even 5 minutes before you leave your desk, there would be three emails popping up and might need your attention.

Did I stay fabulous and lively in the last nine months? I sure did.

One big lesson here is being curious. I know that when I use that part of my brain where I am inquisitive and asking questions I tend to get a better response from people. I set aside the judgmental notion that usually comes my head right away. It gives me time to pause and think of what I am supposed to say. It becomes non-aggressive. Curiosity opens the door for a better connection and conversation. Conflicts are dealt smoothly. If any of the party involved gets defensive and upset, the issue is blown into proportion and it becomes more complicated. Plus, it helps me calm down and not get into my tiger mode which I do not want other people to see. It is ok to be vulnerable and say that you are upset but a full on mad suit will not be a good sight to see. With all those things, it makes me love myself more because I am learning things that I do not think I can do. It is so easy to default with the beast mode but that does not work in any setting.

In the last nine months, I have done work with myself, and I am still working on some of them including the five things on that note. Did I stay fabulous and lively in the last nine months? I sure did. I hope you did, too!

What were your notes for yourself in the last year?