Battling Negativity

Too many things are driving all of us to the wall. We see our impatience escalating and frustrations through the roof. Do you know what exacerbates it, too? Negativity! You have heard from me first hand to avoid negativity and do not surround yourself with pessimism. There are so many sources of negativity around us to the point that you do not need to shop around for it; just look beside you and there is one. Social media is full of quotes, sayings, and anecdotes on how to battle negativity. I have seen some caricatures of people saying, "Don't Be Negative." or quotes by Bobby Darnell that goes, "Negativity is cannibalistic, the more you feed it, the bigger and stronger it grows." Both were very spot on concerning strategies for dealing with negativity and how negativity can affect your whole being. We have been through so many things: break up, job loss, not getting a job, accidents, health concerns, and others. These things affect us emotionally and mentally. We try to be cautious with our actions and steps we take in our daily life but also there comes a time that we default to negativity. We tend to dwell on the bad stuff and mistakes. All the bad news has a bigger impact than the good news. How our brain is wired to negativity is dumbfounding. It means that the negative events have more impact on our brain and mental well being than the positive events. The minute it registers to our brain we dwell on them, according to Kendra Cherry on What is Negativity Bias? She also added that " we feel the sting of a rebuke more powerfully than we feel the joy of praise. It explains why bad first impressions can be so difficult to overcome and why past traumas can have such long lingering effects." The bad stuff grabs our attention. This affects our overall well being and the decisions we make in our life. We have experienced it in the line up in the grocery, at work where someone irritates you with a comment made with how you look or what you said or a very current example with this pandemic, death toll we see on the news. We have listened to some people grumble and went straight to worry or the bad outcome without thinking fully of what the steps to do to mitigate the issue. It is excruciatingly difficult to handle someone who is constantly pessimistic about so many things and hearing their words such as, "It won't work." "That is bound to fail." "It will be too dangerous to do it, why even try." Once you hear them, it brings you down. You get anxious and second guess. Exposure to negativity or let us say negative people can erode your deposits of positivity wherein your only goal is to spread positivity and joy.

I believe in the good. I am my own champion.

We will always encounter negativity but like I always tell myself I have control over many things such as my thoughts, emotions and the words that come out of my mouth. I have been saying this and as much as our brain is wired to negativity; I believe that we are more powerful than we think we are. As humans, we can do something when we hear all these "fear, anxiety and negativity." We have to look at the reasons for their negativity. There is a reason for it. We have to explore it and be curious. We can be therapeutic with our questions and ask, "I would like to explore more about your thoughts." or "I am wondering what are your fears and what are the steps that you can do to navigate them." or you can go extreme and ask, "Why do you think, it will not work, I wanted to hear the reasons behind it?" You can be bold with the questions, and I do not think there is harm in asking. Sometimes harbouring negativity can be a cry for help or a self-defeat or a defence mechanism to something that happened in the past. We will now know until we ask the reasons behind the responses. Be intentional and open about having a conversation when the opportunity arises. Remember to smile and be aware of your body language.

We have to look at the reasons for their negativity. There is a reason for it. We have to explore it and be curious.

There are ways to approach negativity. I know for some, the first thing you do, is to walk away from these negative people. I agree to some extent, but there are times that it might be a conversation opener for some. If you are feeling negative about yourself, yes walk away from the thought. Stopping the negative self-talk, do not park your brain in that ugly spot. You are not your emotions. Focus on other things and if you are brave enough, ask yourself as to why you are thinking those thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts. If you are relating to another person, ask them by reframing the situation. Do not take it personally, give them space and respect they deserve. Be peaceful with the interactions you are having. I once snapped at a co-worker and told her, "You are being negative." That took a lot of energy for me to say those because I wanted to acknowledge people's concern and fear. However, she went downright negative on the issue and I had to say it. I am also aware that some are not going to welcome critical feedback, and I should have not exploded. It is a matter of discussion, and we managed to discuss our differences of opinions and targeted the issue, not the person which I think is very important as it provided us the space to say what we wanted to say. There are so many examples out there that I am sure others can relate to. Negativity will always be part of our lives but how we navigate the situation with intention and being mindful about it will have a huge impact on our mental health.