Be your own best advocate. Celebrate you!

The media has given a lot of transgender individuals a platform to speak. Increase awareness and advocate for every transgender individual. You have Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Devin-Norelle, Raquel Willis, and many more. Those names are a great resource, and we need to celebrate them but the question is how do you celebrate YOU?

We just recently celebrated the Transgender Day of Remembrance. We honour those who have lost their lives as a result of transphobia. We have seen violence endured by transgender people. Candle lighting ceremony happens every year in the hopes of sparking a new flame of tolerance and acceptance as we move forward for those who are still here. Transgender people are at risk for a lot of violence, discrimination, suicide, mental health issues, homelessness, and less to no health care access. We need to take a moment and reflect on the issues we have in hand. The struggle is difficult and at times we show a facade to minimize the hurt we go through. However, as a transgender woman, the change should start from me.

The question I posed was not only meant for transgender people but for everyone. I hope that each one of you who reads my weekly post; it does not matter whether you are gay, lesbian, straight, queer or transgender should ask that question. How do you celebrate you? We all have these people that we look up to, and we commemorate people who have helped us become the stronger person that we are now. It is not enough to be able to say, "I am proud of who I am" or "I am becoming the best version of myself." Those are not sufficient. It is great to be able to see that you are doing everything daily to improve yourself. Becoming a better version of yourself is a task but every day you should include a celebration of everything you have accomplished.

I am becoming the best version of myself.

The courage to get up and brave the tough world can become dicey especially if you have other issues you are dealing with internally. When I talk about internal issues, I talk about anxiety and depression. Plus you have the external factors that might put a grey on your skies. So there is a lot of things to consider. It starts with believing in yourself. Know who you are. You could not move on with your life, decide who and what you want to be if you have no idea of who you are. Understanding that our strengths and weaknesses plus the traumatic events in our life are a part of us. Whatever strategies you have to mitigate, further heartaches and pain are a great start. Perfection is not the goal. Honesty is.

"Advocating for yourself is self-sponsorship", according to India Martin from a Forbes article about self-advocacy. She was so right that advocating for yourself is not about waiting for your turn. It is about continuously ensuring that your voice is heard be it at work or with your friends. Let us not forget about respecting the rights of others. It also includes celebrating your successes and achievements. She also said, "There is nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements. Do not just talk about it. Be about it." If there is no one to celebrate you, who would? Remember, that it is an ongoing process, tell your story whenever you have the chance. If you managed to have someone used "she, her, hers" to you that is an amazing feat. Celebrate every little step you gained.

Perfection is not the goal. Honesty is.

Ask what you need. Who are your supports? What are your strategies? How do I enact them? Clarification of what you need is an important step. It will help you to focus on the targets you wanted to achieve. Seek help. It is crucial to have someone who would act as your mentor. Doing it alone is feasible but if you have a family member or a friend who would be able to guide you and coach you it would be helpful. We all have our battles but understanding where the triggers are coming from can harness some of the underlying issues related to them. Understand that you may not be able to eradicate them from your life, but you can do something about it. Knowing that you have control of your own emotions, thoughts, and actions. Think of different ways to address the problems. A good example is a discrimination at work. Any unnecessary behaviours targeted towards you should be addressed at the moment. State your concern and express yourself clearly. Know that your Manager and HR can work with you on these kinds of issues.

Why is it important to celebrate yourself? Every day is a journey. Take a moment every day to stop, ponder, and self reflect. Think of how your day went. I make it a habit every time I am in my car after a long day of work, " I did it." I consciously remind myself that I made it, no matter how shitty my day was. Being grateful is key to a meaningful life. Stefan James said, "Celebrating yourself means taking the time to be genuinely grateful for your life." We are so consumed on celebrating only the highs of our lives but forgetting that we made it there through small steps. We need to celebrate those, little steps. It also strengthens your character and builds confidence as you move forward with your goals. Continuously, owning your amazingness and the work to better yourself, inspire you and others.

You don't need to become a Janet Mock or a Laverne Cox but know that you can go out there, become an advocate and do great things.

Resources:

Martin, I. (2017, November 5). Five tips for becoming your own best advocate. Retrieved from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/11/05/five-tips-for- becoming-your-own-best-advocate/#624be602747a

James, S. 3 Reasons why it's important to celebrate yourself.

Retrieved from: https://projectlifemastery.com/celebrate-yourself-every-day/

Copeland, M. (2010). Ten Steps to being an effective self-advocate.

Retrieved from: https://mentalhealthrecovery.com/info-center/ten-steps-to-being-an-effective-self-advocate/