Comparing yourself to others

You know, when you start scrolling on your social media feed and saw a post from someone. Then you find out that one of your friends got new shoes, got a new beau, bought a new house, went for a vacation, or showed an ultrasound of their new baby boy or received a new job offer. What goes through your mind? Go ahead and ask me. I start comparing myself to them. Yes, I go through a lot until I snap back into my reality. Comparing yourself is hard to avoid but did you that it starts at a very young age.

For most of us, the comparison starts at a very young age, and people around us start doing this. The nurse or the doctor will take your height and weight. They compare you to other kids of the same age group. We are not aware of these things. We grow older and become young kids like I said we have no awareness. Once you get to age four or five until elementary, you will see changes. You suddenly realize, like, wow, I am not as tall as my neighbour, or I am not as pretty as my sister. I am too soft for a boy. I should be strong and act manly. I should be excelling like my other classmates. I despise those times when all these comparisons happen. It is like myself versus the other kids in the community or school. It has serious repercussions.

Comparison

They have a lasting effect as you can see, we bring the comparisons until we reach puberty and adulthood. It is exacerbated by what we saw on television, social media and around us. So, going back to scrolling on someone else's social media post. I bet your brain gets overloaded with too many thoughts about how lucky they are and how awful your life is. The scenarios that you play in your head are starting to deflate your value. Your self-worth stock market value just dropped. All the negativities come rushing, and this becomes destructive. We can overcome this by taking notes of the following:

1. Be aware: Identify the triggers you have. If you need to limit or ultimately stop utilizing social media, do it. If you need to unfriend people just because they become a trigger, you may do so. It is not because you loathe them but they are your triggers. Or you can limit how much you see from them. Remember, that they are writing their own stories, too just like you.

2. Stop hosting your pity party. I have asked earlier, which goes through your mind after you see their new gadgets or possession? I feel envious, I do. Then suddenly, after a minute or two, you feel these unpleasant feelings brewing in you. You start feeling awful and having pity for yourself. How come I am not able to buy that? How come she is so cool and fab while I am not? You start hosting your pity party and my friend. It is not cool. The minute you start feeling this gnawing feels of envy, tell yourself to STOP, still important to acknowledge the feelings you have and then move on.

3. Important to shift your focus. As a lead on, this is so crucial. Remember that you have the control. You can control your thoughts, and it may be hard in the beginning but you have all the power to stop all those negativities and self-doubt. We must shift the focus to ourselves and not others. Why not turn the spotlight to yours. You have done some work and you should be proud of that. Look at your strengths and accomplishments, and see your true value.

4. Focus on your journey. Carve your own story, and a good friend of mine told me, you are the ones who create your story and you should be proud of it, no matter how messy the storyline is. The plot of your story should be the focal point in everything you do. Your journey is your own. Bring all the energy and optimism you have to ensure you are giving yourself space to grow and learn.

5. Practice gratitude. Be thankful for all the blessings you have. You are given talents that you are good at and some you are cultivating. In terms of things you are working on, keep working on them, not because you are not as good as others. A classic example is me. I do a podcast I cannot compare myself to the big podcast out there like Brene Brown's or the Optimal Living Podcast. However, if I focus on myself and the topics that I produce, it gives me the motivation to be better. But it does not mean that I have to stop doing them because I am not at par with the giants out there. I am thankful I am given the platform and the ability to share my voice. Also, very blessed for the talents given to me because that makes me, ME.

6. Your imperfections are part of you. It is ok. Girl, if you only knew the blemishes these people are hiding (just kidding). Understand you will never run out of things to compare with to other people. You can pick on the shape of your nose. See how uneven your eyebrows are, etc. What you need to bear in mind is that you are born; to have all these traits and characteristics. You are beautiful despite the imperfection. Be ok with that because that is one of the ways to avoid comparing yourself to others. You are unique.

They are only a guide, and there are many ways how you can stop comparing yourself to others. I love this quote and wanted to end my post tonight with this, and it is from Zen Shin," A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms." Keep shining everyone!