Create and accept your own journey

Accepting your journey is one way to boost your self-esteem and live your life happy. How come, I could not stop comparing myself to others. We are bound to have different lives. The world is so big, and yes, we are all interconnected but we have our own individual lives to live. Living your life to the fullest requires a lot of work and hardships. There are joys in there, too and how you wanted to keep the joy in your life is also another herculean task but achievable. We grew up in different environments, and the beginning of our story has something to do with the rest of the story we create. No matter how good or bad the start is, it does not define the outcome. I believe, if we trust that what we do is part of the learning, then it should be worth working on. I am not saying that everything is going to turn out great. I have my own hardships, too but I believe that embracing the process is a way to enjoy the journey and the story you are creating.

“To love is to stop comparing.” – Bernard Grasset

I remember when I was young, of course growing up with no parents, I was jealous of my classmates especially when it was Recognition Day. Although I was very happy to have my Granny beside me and going to the stage, there were times I wish Mama and Papa were there. I also grew up insecure, not having the most flawless skin due to acne. I was never good in Math and although academically, I excel, I suck at numbers. Then, I became an adult and honestly, I still do not know why all these comparisons to other people continue. There is really no winning in unfair competition. Some people have the ability to buy things, some people were given talents that you do not have, some have gifts that you do not possess. Learn to love enough, as I am in the process of transition, I tend to compare myself but I kept thinking, even if I get a C cup boobs, I will still look at other things to repair and change. People will always want more but what you have in front of you is enough. Remember that comparing yourself to others is an emotional cutter. It hurts. Nevertheless, for me, I learned how to be a cheerleader for myself. It is crucial not to be overly mean to yourself and do not let your insecurities exacerbate the feeling of unworthiness that you feel when you see someone achieved or get something. To be frank, even the word unworthiness, is not a very good word to use because we are all worthy. We can authentically engage with life, if we start with having that self-worth and self-love. The chapter of other people's stories is different than the chapter you are making. I learned that the more you look at others, it drains your energy. It becomes unhealthy. Focus on the energy to better yourself. Think of all your strengths and gifts that you can be proud of and share with the world. You may not be good at other things, but everyone is good at something. We are tempted to compete, and which puts our self-confidence in a downward spiral. Do not aim for perfection, be OK with imperfection. We will ever be perfect. Your imperfection is what makes you, "YOU."

When you are starting to compare yourself to others, stop yourself, start changing your focus. Have that awareness and acknowledge that you are having the internal dialogue again.

Social media is a killer. The things we see on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter affects how we view ourselves. How come I do not look like her, I do not have her lips, her thigh, her shoes, her this and that. You get depressed and be resentful to yourself. You try so hard to reach a standard that you are unable to achieve. Look first and see if it is a fair comparison especially when you are only seeing a portion of their life in which social media is only depicting one side of the person's story. When you are starting to compare yourself to others, stop yourself, start changing your focus. Have that awareness and acknowledge that you are having the internal dialogue again. If you continue to put a tally of the score in comparison to others, you are always going to be in the losing end. Focus on your strengths and look at your blessings. In the process, do not put others down. It is easy to be destructive, but it is not going to be beneficial for you in the end. We need to find the courage to give ourselves the applause and respect we deserve. Free ourselves from the need to compare and compete with others. Love what you do and cultivate your passion. We have our own unique path to follow.