Dear FWB,

(I am finally writing this letter; this letter is more of a general letter. It does not matter what gender is involved. Everyone has had their fuck buddies or friends with benefits (fwb). You are entering a grey area where you are not together yet you share some stuff whether it is: information or fluids. So, here it is: )

Now, we are entering this agreement, we have some stipulations and rules that we have talked about before becoming fuck buddy or friends with benefits (fwb). Although, it does not have a good ring to it, who cares. We are both adults and we have decided that this is the best route to go rather than deal with the bullshit of dating. I am cognizant of the fact that you or myself will find that someone who we might go on a steady date since we are not exclusive and we are still open on seeing someone. It is convoluted and confusing, I know, but let me open up some rules that I think that at times people on this set up are forgetting.

I know what I signed up for but I also signed up to be respected and treated like a human being. Just like the golden rule by Confucius, "Do not do unto others what you do not want to be done unto you." That is very clear. As I said, we are both adults and if things are not going well, communication should hopefully solve it. After all, we sealed the agreement with a kiss or a fist pump. Maybe not a kiss, that crosses the boundary, either way, the signature was in place.

There would be times that you would come to my place or I would come to your place and I would be complaining of hunger. I do not mind paying for a box of pizza if it is my payday but I think the next time you should offer to pick up the tab or if you are unable to, at least offer to split. Come on, you are an earner, too and works at least 40 hours a week. There is always that give and take that we need to abide to just like how we do it in bed, right?

Just like the golden rule by Confucius, "Do not do unto others what you do not want to be done unto you."

Instances such as stopping at a grocery to pick up chips or liquor store for beer or wine might happen. I am not insisting for you to walk side by side with me nor hold my hands. I know that you might have anxiety about being seen with someone and I am cool with that. If you do not want to go in, please let me know. However, if you decide to come in and look for some fancy drinks for yourself and you happen to finish going into the counter first while I am still inside. Shoot me a text message that you will be waiting in the car at the parking lot. You do not want me to be roaming around the store because if I do not see you, it might prompt me to call a code yellow if you know what I mean.

It is 2019, you have your fancy phone and I have mine as well, or it does not matter whether you are using a flip phone. What I am getting into is that communication should be easy. I do not expect a daily hi and hello, good morning, have a great day at work, how is your day, etc. None of those but I think we should set an expectation of checking in maybe once a week. Somehow, the word "friend" still signifies something, at least for me. Bootie call, no problem but do not give me alibis such as busy at work, dealing with personal and family issues. I have those, too. It is just a matter of trying to establish that contact or else I would end up like a paid whore you are calling on a Friday night. I am not that.

More on planning, I understand that you probably have some other girls lined up for the night and I am down for a bootie call but do not call me at 11 pm which is my bedtime to ask if you could come over. A very legitimate bootie call but that for me appears like there was a prior plan that went south and I am now a backup plan. I am sorry, we may be fwb but do not make me your back up plan, like I am the secondary option. Do I look like I wear, a bronze medal, to you? Nor, do I want to be the runner up for the night? No, I get the statue and claim it for the night or wear the gold medal around my neck. If you are getting the gist.

I have said it, shit happens, there are plans that we might do to hang out and chill after a busy workday. All you wanted to do is deal with your raging hormones and be given the much-needed attention by someone. I am a phone call or a text away. I heard this line, "things I have to deal with tonight" is a bad fucking alibi, you are not the Prime Minister that you have to negotiate with North Korea about a possible missile attack. I know what you do, so cut the crap unless it is a family emergency or you are a CEO then you get a pass. I would exercise the same courtesy when things go awry on my end, I would give you enough notice so I will not screw your plans.

Respectful fun and the boundaries that comes with as friends with benefits.

When it is time to say goodbye and you were able to find that steady someone you wanted to date. I do not know what I would feel, I would be sad for sure, because man, it is so hard to find someone compatible in and out of bed. We just happen to have this agreement and we are not pushing through a relationship. Moreover, I am letting you go and I expect that you would talk to me about it because I do not want to be worrying whether you are ok or not or you have given me something. It should still be respectful and graceful. I would wish you good luck in the end. Then, there goes my search again.

This letter is not to be so rigid with the rules with having fwb or fuck buddy. All I wanted is respectful fun and the boundaries that come with it. At the end of our meeting, there is no commitment; that is why the expectations should be discussed in the beginning and mutual agreement is in place.

Sincerely,

Myself