Feeling overwhelmed?

Warning: These tips are not for everyone, most of them I have applied to myself and worked. You might want to google a bit more, talk to a trusted friend, or even contact a counselor.

Every one of us gets overwhelmed. I, myself included. You are bombarded with tons of workloads at work, that at times you are unable to cope with them. You deal with difficult patients who can be time-consuming. It could be a family member who has a diary load of complaints. You heard it right, a notebook full of complaints. Your day does not end there, yet. You go home and if you are a mother, you still have to pick up kids, attend your kid's dance practice or soccer game. Not done yet, you still have to cook for your family and tidy things up in the house. You do not have help which makes it more demanding every day.

Students feel it. Tons of workers am sure they are experiencing it, parents, and am sure others deal with a handful of issues they could not seem to tackle daily. I will have my breakdown, as well in my Manager's office because things are not getting done and I find that people are not being accountable. I feel undervalued and the actions are unkind. As I release all my frustration and anger, I would hold my breath and say, " I am overwhelmed and it is too much." I have thoughts of leaving and maybe going for a mini-break. I am sure it will happen this year. Sometimes you just need a break, and that is your prerogative. However, there are some tips that I think will help subside the feeling of being overwhelmed.

• A combination of anger and fear is usually what we have when we are feeling overwhelmed. Fear for not being able to finish a task or doing a shitty job and not hitting the expectation. For me, it was all about the ticky box. I have to complete them and then the anger comes in because I was not able to finish the boxes. Then I get both, just flooding my brain and I shut down. So, a piece of good advice that I got is what are your Top 3's of the day. It is hard to identify them, but you have to prioritize. Going back to me, I do have Top 10 but imagining the ticky box, there is no way you could get to all of them. So, resolve or create a plan to tackle the Top 3's and the rest can wait. Bear in mind that there are only 8 working hours in a day or 12 in some cases, you can only do so much.

• Learn to let go. You might ask, how? I know the feeling that there are some tasks that you might not want to let go or get out of your sight for the fear of people not doing a good job. Learn to trust as well. Layout the expectations that once you pass the baton, you will be able to do a good job with the task delegated to that person. I repeat, good not exceptional.

• Deep Breathing exercises are helpful. You know what, let us not make it complicated. Pause and breathe. This has a scientific basis, deep breathing can trigger a relaxation response that slows down our heart and also decreases stress. When we are overwhelmed, we tend to panic which has no benefit at all. Although we all know that our default is when things are piling up, we go to a mild state of panic wherein what we should be doing is step back and take a deep breath.

• Start asking questions. Is this overwhelming? Is it busy? If it is, who are my supports? Who can I delegate some tasks? Who do I need to alert when a shit show happens? Who are my backups? What can I remove from my list?

Step out and go for a walk ( pic- taken in Hadden Park in Vancouver)

• Plan better. I know that we cannot avoid a busy day, or an emergency happens. There are times that we can plan better. Ask yourself, if things are becoming too much, knowing that you have the Top 3, what are your deadlines? Those deadlines can be the death of you if you miss any of them. I am busy already with my work, but I also take on some volunteer peer review of research studies. They do have a deadline, and I try to be on time with them. So, if I can get those deadlines out of the way, it will be a bit easier tackling the other tasks I have on my list.

• Talk it out. Go for a walk. Find a soundboard. Start journaling. There are many things that we can do to take care of ourselves. One question that was asked to me by the Critical Incidence Stress Management (CISM) staff was, "What do you do for self-care when things are getting out of control?" I said I would step out of my desk, go for a walk. He nodded and said, "Those are a good start." He explained as well, that we cannot do so many things in one day and we just need to be kinder to ourselves. Giving ourselves some self-loving can reduce the anxiety we are feeling.

• Make it work for you. Given those things are helpful tips. You also have to remember that it should work for you. Assignments and chores will always be there but if you cannot deal with the 20-30% of them, know that it is ok. Find ways to make things doable and workable but also being productive and efficient with them. If you need to disengage from other undertakings, you need to fulfill, do so.

We can do this. I would love to hear from others about the challenges they have experienced and what solutions they have implemented. We have big tasks we face every day, but finding ways to thrive is always supportive and promising.