I am not a doormat...Thank you!

No one's taking away my power, self-respect and confidence. I love me, and I am embracing myself.

Being treated like a doormat is not cool. You feel powerless at times, and it can happen without you knowing it at times. People are insensitive to your needs and feelings. They walk all over you and treat you like nobody. They think you are someone that does not deserve respect and appreciation. These people are toxic and selfish. The frequent it happens to you, you feel like you cannot do anything to change it, and you feel smaller.

First, I know who I am and my values. As a transgender woman, I experience discrimination and bigotry regularly. I am hyper-aware of people's judgment and look when they see me but I try not to dwell on those things as they are outside opinions. I know myself better than them. My personal power is something inherent that people could not take away from me. I value and respect myself. No one else would respect me, other than me. So it all starts within me.

Knowing one's self is paramount to how you are going to show yourself to the world. It builds confidence and conviction. It took me a while to come out as I was so afraid of what people will tell me and even after I came out, there are still many hurdles that I needed to go through to have that self-belief. Believe me as confident as I am, I still have negative thoughts and I continue to compare myself. Self-doubt comes out, the boldness goes out the window, self-reliance crushed and trashed. I am learning daily. Self-assertion produces confidence. Do not let people walk all over you. Have that ability to bring out respect, positivity, and confidence through your action and communication. Consequently, promoting respect. Do not let other people take advantage of you; moreover, what we should be doing is to be more generous to ourselves.

Do not let other people take advantage of you; moreover, what we should be doing is to be more generous to ourselves.

Next is to show how people should treat you by teaching them. If someone is not treating you right, we can say it to them because if you let them do inappropriate things to you, you are accepting their behaviour. You are sending a message that it is ok. People will continue to do that because you have given them the pass to do so. It is not right, for them to treat you like a doormat. I have no problem telling other people that they are being disrespectful if they are not using the right pronoun. It took confidence and a lot of emotion to be able to say, "I am a she." that in itself is an example of an assertion. It was scary in the beginning, for all I know people will have the rebuttal of "You are a tranny, anyway." The task is wearisome but once you start it, it will become easier. Your reaction and response should send a message that it is never ok to be rude and insolent. Let others see your value.

Let others see your value

Remember that your happiness depends on you. Cait Flanders said on her blog, "What consumes your mind, controls your life." It is very true. Being a doormat does not mean we are nice, knowing when things are getting out control and you are feeling that people are treating you like shit, action must be taken. By having that realization, it would be a precursor of changing how we see ourselves. We are good enough. We deserve better. Keep in mind; you are not the only one experiencing this. There is a lot of people out there who are probably sulking in the corner and continues to people please. Some are unaware of their boundaries of what they should or should not do, or continues to accept manipulation and ill-treatment. However, the fix is by finding some support but also building up some respect and value to yourself. Do not let others destroy your self-esteem.

Free yourself, find courage, practice and find that support. Express your needs and want. After all, we are not a doormat...Thank you!