Letting go: What am I making room for?

We have come across an issue, and now it is time to let it go. How do you handle it?

There are many issues in life that we deal with every day. It can be work, relationship, or personal. There are instances where we commit mistakes; we slip up and mess up things in our lives, which can be destructive at times. Life can get sour sometimes; we get hurt or hurt someone. We deal with emotions. Most of the time, we bring pain to ourselves via our decisions and actions.

I am so good at replaying all these unpleasant scenarios in my head where it feels like it is almost a torture. A rewind button in our head becomes a default for most of us. It could be an event that happened last week or even a year ago. A relationship is a classic example; at one point in my life, I kept a rerun episode of what happened the day my boyfriend and I broke up. I can even do a replay of it, right now but is that something that I desire to dig deep inside me. Will it be pleasant? No. I had played the shoulda, woulda, coulda game and the blame game, as well. Owning shit that I did not need to own just brought back all these raw emotions that I harboured for so long. So much internalization leads me to break down more. Were they necessary? I believe some moments the cleansing was necessary. The question is, how often do you need to cleanse for something that has no bearing with what is going on in the present?

"Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down." -Roy T. Bennett

To be honest, I find the crying was helpful and can see why. It refreshes you, but at the same time, you have to remember that doing it in excess has some deleterious effect. We have witnessed people go into depression because of so much sadness and isolation. I get it; we need two Ben & Jerry's ice cream to soothe and calm our soul. However, we cannot live in melancholia every day. We will need to pick ourselves up. We need to stop dwelling in the past. Solutions should start flashing to our faces like how fast the sunrise hits your face in the morning. I also wish a glimmer of hope is on the horizon, too.

Acceptance and acknowledgment of the mistake we made are an encouraging start. We need to identify the things we want to let go of. It can be an object, a memory, a person, an unmet expectation, or an idea. We are so used to the fact that if they stay and we do not really think about it, it should be ok to stay there. Let me have baggage as an example. All of us have one. If you want to lighten the load, you have to unload every single day so you can keep moving forward with your life. If you are not unloading one item a day or keeping the baggage in your closet, the path to happiness is not going to be easy. Letting go takes time. It is critical to note that we need to do an inventory every day whether the one thing we want to let go is ready to be out of your system.

When we ask ourselves what we need to let go of in our lives, the follow-up question also comes, what am I making room for? Now, I am waxing philosophical. We have to look at the light at the end of the tunnel, right. It is not always going to be dark all the time. Our choices will determine how much we grow and succeed. It is part of self-care that we need to evaluate what we are having a hard time with. I am super aware that there are many facets to these lives that we need to deal with. No one has said you need to do it all at once. Let go of the guilt and unpleasant emotions that do not serve you well.

When we ask ourselves what we need to let go of in our lives, the follow-up question also comes, what am I making room for?

Give yourself time to get used to the idea of giving yourself room to grow. Any of us can attain that when you learn to let go of things that cause you grief. Making room for new and positive things in your life is very feasible. We have to remember not because we are letting go of things, we have to let go of the memory as well, you can keep some for memory keeping. It all depends on how much you want to keep. Letting go, for me, does not mean forgetting. It just means releasing all the toxicity and negativity. Ultimately you are the ones in control of your emotions, thoughts, and actions.

Letting go is a process. You can be grief-stricken at times. If you allow yourself to think of the possibilities that will come your way by having more room for those things, it will be a bit easier. We will struggle, and what I do is try to redirect myself to do more self-care. Be kind to yourself. Find ways to cope even though the circumstances remain blurry and we are fearful of the outcome. Find that strength to keep going and leaving the hurt in the parking lot. A good friend told me, "Keep walking away." Think of the learning experience you have gained along the way. Expect to find healing and peace. Give yourself permission to be hurt and down sometimes.

Start letting go and continue receiving the gift of what you could become. They come in small and big packages.