Name change 3.0 Nightmare

I know I have been dealing with this name change issue for the longest time and the last four weeks were no different.

My name is significant, and I have been an outspoken advocate for my name change. Pretty much my entire being as a trans woman. I think it is so important for every trans individual out there to be visible, vocal, and outspoken about the things that matter to them.Most especially discuss things that have an impact on them.I will never be where I am if not for those key moments when I have stood up for myself and told myself I matter.

My official name change should not be treated differently. I had a video of my panic attack when I talked about my old name before my travel nursing assignment in Vancouver Island. Up to now, every time I watch, it makes me very emotional. I honestly did not want to capture that moment because I feel so vulnerable during that time. However, the hurt that I felt seeing an email which bears my old name touched the most sensitive part of myself.I have done a lot of work in terms of my transition. I took time;I did not rush into doing things.I even put a stop to some plans I had. So, when that old name resurfaced after a short period of freedom, it felt that my sense of self was halted by a ghost.I was disappointed.

I will never be where I am if not for those key moments when I have stood up for myself and told myself I matter.

The immense work I have done to inform the people I need to inform every agency, people and significant people in my life was a courageous act.I sometimes find people think that it is a joke that my name is now, "Jade Sol."It is insulting but hey I can't control how they feel about my name change and I can only control my reactions when they question me.I am pretty much done being sassy about it. Now is the time to show more angst and diplomacy on how I deal with this.

Recently, my Alma Mater and academic department - UBC sent me an email using my old name. It was about an event happening next month. Instead of getting excited, I was furious. I recognized the impact of it on me after so much paperworkI have done to make it happen.I am not sure as to what archaic system they are using but this time around it was unacceptable.I started the conversation with the managers and also included the gender diversity and inclusion office where I questioned the system that they are using. For me, it was becoming a source of disappointment, annoyance and pain. They were apologetic, and I am pretty sure it was an unintentional mistake. However, I do not accept it this time around because it has been four years since I graduated from my master's program and yet here I am still dealing with this. What annoys me was that why everyone isn't doing a good follow-through with this. How it made me feel was as if I was not welcomed and embraced by my Alma mater, especially my department.The conversation is still happening. The UBC Alumni office has made sure there isn't any trace of my old name as well as the UBC MEL/MHLP department. All the managers gathered to check on every file that they have. Finally!

My sentiment and disgust with this specific incident was not only for the system that they are using but as to how slow they have embraced my chosen name. I am not showing disappointment and opening my mouth for no reason. I am opening the door also to make improvements for how chosen/preferred name should be honoured. The system or database should be updated and properly identified for other trans individuals. If these big institutions can segregate the fees of every student in their system from the book, tuition, misc.fee, etc. they can undoubtedly do that for two columns in the excel file for "Preferred name" and "Given Name" for someone like me. That is my clap back.

I think it is time for everyone to see there is power in that name.

Just imagine the timid ones who are too shy to express their minds and will just nod when their old names are uttered. Although they have properly informed the administration already about their preferred name.Imagine what emotional damage it is doing.The name change process is complex enough so I think it is time for the system to change.I have always heard about gender inclusivity in most companies, schools and establishments yet their system is trash.I am sorry to say with the technology and manpower we have, we can do better.

My name change was a life-changing event for me. I think it is time for everyone to see there is power in that name. Also, that there is power when one person speaks up for her fundamental rights.