Reflection Tuesday

As I finished my shift today, I felt like it had been a long week. Of course, my job entails some sitting, and I am still unrecovered from that pilates/yoga I attended the other day. So things were not in sync.

I am in pain since Friday, and I have tried to minimize the discomfort by using my foam roller and taking Tylenol. Don’t worry, I didn’t overdose on it. The last four nights were some restless nights for me and I was not having enough sleep. I can fake a smile, don’t worry. I am proficient at that, but I need more snooze. I showed up, and I think that is the most valuable lesson here. Also, with all this gnawing pain I was complaining about. I have forgotten to be thankful, grateful and mindful. Bad, bad, bad.

Let me talk about moments in our life where we are just going through the motion because we want to finish a task, a shift or a project. You wake up. You start your day and sign in. Needless to say, you need to get paid, right?

Tackle some meetings, answer phone calls, brainstorm and resolve a conflict in the first 3-4 hours of your day. You got 4-6 more hours. The day drags. You get indignant because you have not taken a break nor even sipped water. Even though your mug is right in front of you. It wants your attention. You know what kind of day I am trying to paint here, right? Just the constant flow of things that do not stop. The barrage of tasks and noise around you. I am certain you have rolled your eyes a million times for some comments that did not land well on you. Possibly you are clenching your teeth and have bitten your tongue a lot to control yourself. So you will not react to the proposition of your colleague or your boss.

This picture of a day is gruesome. Counter-productive, I would say. I know many people who thrive in this milieu. It used to be me, but imagine the texts and phone calls I have done with my sister and close friends to vent. Every so often all you require is a soundboard. Wherein reality, you needed a break from the monotony. You want to change what’s going on throughout your day because if you ask me- Five days of that is not very sustainable. It is a mental breakdown waiting to happen. I might as well have a Haldol in my bag.

Launching a day where you have a bit more control is ideal. I know your brain is already working. The what if’s are rolling in. So, my friends, fuck the what if’s. You can’t own things that you are not supposed to own. Your surrounding is full of outside factors that can ruin your day, but what you have in you as a superpower is the power of control. You can unlock this skill by ensuring. You know when to pause and learn not to be reactive. What does being reactive achieve? None. It causes conflict and misunderstanding wherein in the first place. You could have clarified the issue or the question. It is so critical to count from 1 to 10 before saying something. I am sure you get rattled when something irritating is said or heard. Remember it is not always about you. You are not the queen of the world. Everyone has a part, and the world does not revolve around you. After that pause, set aside the emotions you have and be objective. Remove the judgment, do not target the person but target the issue. What irritated you? Start there.

Showing you are grateful for the things you have because you only have right now. That’s my control.

Part of the pause we do daily should also include being grateful. Keep in mind that no matter how stressful your day is. There is something to be thankful for. I think looking at the little things makes a difference. I know that when I help someone. Most of the time, I will receive a thank you and the standard response is, “you are welcome.”Add a bit more to it by ensuring that the act of kindness, thoughtfulness, etc. was part of the conversation. For example, “Thank you so much for helping me reposition that patient.” Thank you is polite, yes, and I am sure sufficient. However, the recognition of the action makes it more meaningful.

So this week, I know I have not uttered a “ Thank you” for being done at work. I forgot I survived. Managed a difficult conversation, made it home safely, attended the yoga class, etc. Forgetting to thank myself was depleting my energy. I need to be kinder. Yesterday, I had a realization when I saw someone’s post about her chemotherapy session. I was like, man, I am so lucky to have the life I have right now. I have my aches and pain, but not suffering from an illness. It overwhelmed me and chatted with my sister to share my thoughts. She was so right, I need to give myself more credit. At the same time, saying, Thank you not only to people around you but for the other little things you have accomplished daily. Showing you are grateful for the things you have because you only have right now. That’s my control.

Listen, I am waxing philosophical on my post today, but just like one of the podcasts that I listen to, it said, when you have nothing to write, be truthful.