Sphere of Influence

2020 is here, and I think we need to re-evaluate the people and things we try to surround ourselves with.

Happy New Year, everyone! This is an interesting topic which I think is very timely since we are starting the month of January with a new blog post. I believe it is important that we let go of the things that do not benefit us and keep the ones that will benefit us. I know that there is another term for the "Sphere of Influence" as some call it the "Circle of Influence." Stephen Covey described it in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He discussed the difference between the circle of control and circle of influence. There is also the inclusion of the circle of control for us to do some honest reflection which will make us a more productive individual. I am not only speaking here as a health leader but also as an individual.

Circle of Influence from Stephen Covey

First, if I can indulge a bit, I would like to give an example as a leader how the circle of control can affect one's workday. Every one of us experiences this, for example, conflict with a care aide, someone is not happy with the food served by the kitchen, family complaints about a certain intervention and others. We feel that these things are important, and we need to deal with them immediately. They are important, but it is not true that we have to deal with them right away because there are other things in our day that can topple those concerns. Safety remains to be of utmost importance. I will have those things on my list, for sure but the question is, "Do I have to deal with them right away?" The answer is no, I would deal with some family concerns regarding a fall or someone's decline in status not some conflict with a care aide. In which, some of them I can delegate to other people.

Second, there are only 8 hours in my day and I could not squeeze everything in between or else I would have a nervous breakdown or a stroke. I believe with prioritization. I would be able to sort things out slowly on my list. On the other hand, I am not ignoring those issues, but I have to prioritize what is important. Today, I know that I have a lot on my plate, but I have to challenge myself as to what needs immediate attention on my list. I have reminded myself that I am not perfect, that I am enough. I need to acknowledge my limitations and that other people are going to be needing my support and expertise later on, so I need to save for those situations such as my time and my energy. If I am already drained with one issue, how am I going to problem solve with my team?

I have to understand and ask myself, is this worth my time right now? What are the other things on my list? Who are the people who can help me solve this? Who can I delegate this? How challenging is this one to the other one? It is difficult. Some of these things on the circle of concern, we do not have any control. The question lies to how are we going to find that balance today where I can remain calm and deal with things that I have control; without lashing to people or even going to jail.

Let me apply it now to myself. But first, let me say this, some of the things that we have to understand are the creation of stories in our head. Early on with my transitioning, I was so scared of what the people will tell me. I was scared that my family will disown me, that they will not be supportive of what I am going to do. I was worried that I get bullied or get mocked. Then suddenly I realize those concerns were my creations. It was something that stuck in my head wherein really I have not even open up the conversation to my family. Instead of increasing my circle of influence, I was multiplying my circle of concerns which was not helpful at that time.

If we focus on our circle of influence, then we will have a better chance of tackling every issue easily. It will not be super easy, let me be honest but it helps us to identify who and what we need to problem-solve. Take note that how we show up can influence, too. When I say that, we need to be part of the solution, as well. We are part of the brainstorming process.

Third, part of expanding our circle of influence is also augmenting our circle of control. These are hard to do, but we can always work on supersizing these things. We all know that we have control over our attitude, thoughts, actions, choices, and decisions.

For 2020, I have to do more self-reflection and self-inventory

• Attitude: Your attitude towards others and to yourself is critical. You can either be negative or positive. Know that some people might not be kind, but you can be the bigger person.

• Thoughts: The things in our head. The stories we create can be destructive. Control the narrative you have in your head. Invoking make-believe stories is not going to help us. Re-program your mind.

• Actions: Are you going to retaliate or are you going to ignore them? Think of the consequences; I talked about going to jail, remember?

• Choices: This can mean so many things. It can be your reaction or even the words you use. Are you choosing to let your emotions calm down before you make a sit-down conversation? What words are you using? Are you choosing kind words or mean ones?

• Decisions: This one I think is the amalgamation of all the previous four things you have control with. Ask yourself, what do you value? Am I being responsible and accountable? Am I going to grow as a person if I deal with this issue in a combative manner? Should I be reactive or proactive?

Lastly, it is important to do self-reflection and self-inventory. I have to do a lot of that this week. I have to solidify my circle of control and hopefully, I can sharpen my focus and achieve my goals.

Resource:

Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring

Character Ethic. New York: Free Press.