Transitioning: A theoretical model lens
- TL
- Oct 28, 2019
- 4 min read
Change can be discouraging or exciting. Understanding the emotional impact it has on someone transitioning would give everyone a better understanding of the difficulty that comes with gender dysphoria. Also, guiding someone transitioning through the stages would provide tools to cope and deal with the stressors.
This is the first time I would be so theoretical with my blog post. I have come across this model in one of my leadership courses. It is the Bridges' Transition Model which was created by William Bridges. The model which is widely used supports an organization, a business or a person with organizational change. It focuses on the transition and for a transgender individual, there are the psychological, physical, emotional and social changes that come with transitioning. It is just interesting to note that the model focuses on the transition, and what we go through is called transitioning. So don't be confused. Transition is the internal process in this model and for trans women we go through the holistic changes that comes with transitioning.
Transitioning brings a lot of experiences. It can be good such as the journey of finding your authentic self, speaking out your truth and knowing what you needed to do to move forward with your life. Of course, the bad is also present such as shitty dating experiences, the family who are against your decision to transition. Judgment and misconception from people who do not understand gender dysphoria. It can be a long process so there is that timeline issue you have to deal with. The changes that you notice you may or may not like but you have to find ways to cope. One has to come to terms that you are letting go of your old self and embracing the new you. The acceptance is crucial for you to move on. This is where depression and anxiety set in. Some find alternatives to cope such as drinking, binge eating, etc. It involves a lot of emotion and the emotional roller coaster you are in, am sure not everyone is ready. I was not. Examining the stages of the Bridges' Model is helpful to manage the changes that come with transitioning: endings, neutral zone, and new beginnings.
"Not in his goals but in his transitions man is great.” ---Ralph Waldo Emerson
In every transition, it all starts with an ending. Contradictory but very true. Remember that it is ok to grieve that old self. I am sure that you are going to let go of some of the things that you were used to and it might include people. Acknowledge what you are feeling because, at the end of the day, it is your decision. You are the one who will decide what is best for you. Having awareness of your feelings be it guilt, anger, shock, fear, sadness, frustration or confusion. Feel them. Imagine what you have control with, you can control your thoughts, emotions, and actions especially when you encounter pushback and negativity. Find effective ways to manage these losses. Support might be necessary such as a counsellor or a friend. Tell them what you are letting go of. The negative emotions are going to flood you at this stage, and you will be hurting for a bit. Recognizing that you might be hurting other people as well and they are not intentional. You are trying to determine what is over, what you wanted to leave behind and what you wanted to keep with your life. Also, define what is not over, allow yourself to feel all these emotions. When you find that power to pick yourself up, strategize on how you will win the battle.
The neutral zone comes when you have learned the art of letting go. It sounds like a song, doesn't it? This is the in-between stage where you might feel creative, uplifted or stuck. When you have taken every pill, you are supposed to take and yet you feel that your body is not changing anymore. Remember that we are all different. Our bodies process these medications differently. So, be curious, connecting with your GP and Psychologist if you have one is one of the first steps. Ask yourself, what do I need for myself? Establish short-term goals, do not rush. Be content but also find out what you need to get excited about. Reminder alert: It is a process. If you are feeling stuck, celebrate the little changes that you see, I celebrate myself when I see that my pores are getting smaller or my breast feel painful when I am finishing my hike down. The last one is not fun, but I know changes are happening and they are visible. This is also the time for self-reflection and self-inventory. Do a regular check-in. Look at opportunities and the resources within your reach. You are learning yourself with your new identity. At this stage, you are somewhat feeling comfortable but not really because you are learning all these steps and changes to realign yourself.
What do new beginnings mean, to you? This marks a release of energy, everything new they say: understanding, values, and attitude. This is also where you need to celebrate. Emphasize that the timeline can go awry, and the goals we set for ourselves may not be done but at the same time creating concrete steps with your transition. Evaluation is essential. Big or small, a celebration is paramount. Highlight the positive changes. Even if it is just a booking a consult for your top surgery. Acknowledge that the work ahead of you is ongoing. Be open to learnings. Allow yourself to some questions and inquiries. Reflect on other people's experiences as you continue to read and converse with others. The support should be continuous because this is the only way you would be able to manage things and understanding your purpose. Be ready for action. You are renewed.
Change happens to everyone. Examine the changes you are going through. Gender dysphoria is challenging but understanding the complexity of the phases one goes through by using the Transition model will make it easier to love and embrace yourself. What stage are you in right now?
Sources:
Bridges' Transition Model: Guiding Through Change. Retrieved
FHA Supporting Self and Others Through Change
What is William Bridges Transition Model?. Retrieved from
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