Transparency: Is it that hard?

We have heard it so many times that openness and honesty are the way to go whether it is at work or in our personal lives. How come some people are not comfortable with being transparent? There are many questions as to why we need to talk about openness and honesty, after all, they are part of the recipe for better communication. I completely understand the benefits of it, however; I also understand the process that one deals with when it comes to being transparent. Some people will tag you as arrogant, disrespectful, and no filter. If we pause for a minute, we need to understand what it meant by transparency. Let me say, that when I talk about transparency, I mean genuine, honest, and meaningful conversation happening between individuals. Amber Waugaman on her Let's Get Real blogpost says, " Speak from the heart. Let others speak from the heart. Understand that there will be differences and that is okay." The benefits of open and honest communication outweigh the so-called negative connotations that we put on it. First, remove from your thoughts the disapproval that you might have for being transparent. We have to remember that transparency fosters an environment where people can communicate effectively and establish a better working relationship if you are relating it in the workplace or simply a relationship if you want to connect it with your personal life. It is a process and it is not easy, it takes rapport and trust to be able to say what you wanted to say without sugarcoating and mincing the words that come out of your mouth. Nor, progress can be achieved without the difficulty of starting those difficult conversations.

"Speak from the heart. Let others speak from the heart. Understand that there will be differences and that that is OKAY."- Amber Waugaman

We are so used to trying to appease people. Making sure that the words we say are correct and not hurtful. Although I have found a way to make it work where I let it sting a bit and get the message across effectively. I know that my expletives are flying all over the place at work and in my conversation with my friends. Trying to minimize, I know. I am sure that we want to create that meaningful connection without circumventing too much and dealing with other people's BS. If you ask me, I have no time for that. You need a shrink. I also experienced people being careful, dishonest, playing their games with a mixed of politics, and also power-tripping which is never helpful if you are trying to navigate issues. Those take so much of your energy and your time. Really, in the end, it is not progressive and efficient. We need to get real. We do not need to be likeable but I do like the sound of building trust when you are honest and transparent. What are your expectations? It is not bad to ask those questions. We have to be on the same page because why waste my time if we are not clear on what we want. Some would like it black and white, but it will not always be like that but we can always set expectations and standards. This will open the door for communicating effectively. Communicating your wants, dislikes, and opinions will never be a walk in the park but we need to stay away from being ambiguous and cryptic. The need for clarification should always be in the back pocket, after all, we want to feel valued and heard. Be brave as well to ask questions and admit that you have made a mistake.

We do not need to be likeable but I do like the sound of building trust when you are honest and transparent.

Going back to speaking from the heart. Difficult conversations are never pleasant, they can be uninviting and harsh at times, yet we have to dive in and let ourselves be heard and known. It takes practice. Start from the people you trust, I bet you do not have issues saying no to your close friends when one of them asks you for a favour. Hopefully, we all know about not hurting their feelings, no judgment, trying to not be too accommodating, or sounding fake, or providing them with excuses. If you have created that space with the people who are dear to you then you are off to a good start. Most of all, do not take things personally, learn how to let go of things and overanalyze what one has said about you. Again, you can always ask for clarity and ban these reactive feelings brewing inside of you. It will not be easy in the beginning. We have to aim for better relationships, engagement, and solutions.