Vulnerability and on picking up yourself

Reprogramming is happening!

It has been a week since I last posted my sappy blog post about being stuck in a rut, and I made some progress this week. I am working on reprogramming myself which includes some rewiring in my brain and getting out in nature. The part where I need to tweak something in my brain circuitry is gruelling. Why did I say it was challenging? We all know that our default as humans is to go to the negative because that is the easy route. Yet, we do not realize that in the end there is no benefit whatsoever in dwelling on the unfavourable stuff going in on our lives. It is so easy to give up and throw the towel. I have said it to myself but I have to pick myself up because I know that there is more fight within me. There is more that I can do even if the situation is insurmountable.

Show up and Be seen

Speaking of taxing, there were times this week when I was so sulky. Acknowledging those feelings were important. Showing up like that was painful but "hey we have our bad days." I am sure people have noticed it but that is the power of vulnerability. It is so tough to be going out there when you are so afraid of what other people will say. Especially when you are a leader and you have to show up with a tough persona because you have to be ready for the day. Not only that but the upbringing we had also come into play. If you grew up in an environment where you need to be tough on the exterior even though your interior is crumbling. It leads to unhappiness and damaged self-worth. Vulnerability is something I am learning in the process. Brene Brown said, "Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen." Not so easy, eh?

The courage to be vulnerable can be a bit dicey, but we have to remember that to make some changes with the way we look at life. We have to be courageous in showing our emotions and that in itself is a display of strength. By unlocking the gift of vulnerability we can start picking up ourselves. It can be life-altering. It is so funny that I have difficulty showing all these fragile interior of mine wherein I have been doing it all along. As a transgender woman, I have fought many battles already. I managed to put myself out there in the dating world, showing up to friends and family who were used to my old self. Most especially, approaching the world with confidence. Those were hard and the situation I am right now is also onerous but I could approach it the way I approached my transitioning. Show up and be seen.

Brene Brown said, "Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen."

What do I need to do? We will encounter fear and criticism. Both can be a deterrent in achieving happiness and fully realizing our self-worth. Fear will always drive us to that lonely, empty parking lot. The question is, do you want to stay in that parking lot and how long should you stay? I said it earlier, it is so easy to surrender, sit and wallow in the past. You are allowed to stay in that parking lot but do not hang out there forever. It is a good distraction maybe for a bit but not strategizing the next plan on how to claw your way back to that happy zone can be deleterious. Fear will always restrict us. Show up anyway and do not let fear deny you of your goals and wishes. Get out of that comfort zone. The negative forces will try to pull you down but it should not stand a chance when you have resilience as your armour. You have to move forward.

Take action. Start by creating that list and I like my list that is for sure. There are times that you might be stuck though you are trying every step to get out of that rut. It reminded me that perfection should not be my goal but to be better. More likely, leaning towards excellence. Being the best version of myself. We all have our flaws, and we just need to utilize all the other attributes we have that will lead to personal growth. You will come out stronger when you know that you are not aiming for perfection. Perfection is a slippery slope because it is unattainable. Many people have fallen in the idea of being perfect. Craving to be perfect is a total waste of time and the perfection trap just perpetuates a decrease in self-worth. Start small, do the best you can with what you have, find ways to tweak it for the next time, and pause when you are feeling overwhelmed.

The question is, do you want to stay in that parking lot and how long should you stay?

Personal growth has many aspects and it should include showing the real you. Showing up also means that you have to be yourself. In everything you do, you need your authentic self to be on full display. The skills, strength, and beauty you have should be out there. Do not forget to also show your flaws and insecurities. I am all about finding that tribe where you can bloom and be yourself. Talk it out to the people who know and care for you. If they are not available, some professionals can help. Find beauty in everything. Enjoy music, find something that inspires you whether it is a book, or starting to write a journal. Go out and put those shoes on. Find that spot where you can be one with nature. There are many ways to get a huge lift from all the frustrations in the world.

It is a start and I am recharging. Keep going, everyone!